on Oct 20 in Uncategorized
More people are afraid of public speaking than they are of dying. I’m not surprised. Eight of out ten people suffer from public speaking fear, in varying degrees. This is a worrying trend because public speaking is vital in this new century. It gives an edge to keep abreast with the fast pace of the times.
Speaking in public can sometimes be a real challenge, if not a source of embarrassment; not only to normal people, but even to persons of high rank such as scholars, doctors, artists and entrepreneurs. They may have hesitations in facing an audience, often accompanied by sweaty palms, stuttering, and the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. These dilemmas often cause untold problems to the speaker (especially in self-expression) and unpleasant effects to the audience.
Learning how to overcome public speaking fear has become increasingly important. There are scores of techniques available in the market to help people overcome their public speaking fear. Not all techniques work for everyone and it is important for you to find techniques that are applicable and work for you. By applying certain techniques the right way, it is possible to permanently overcome one’s public speaking fear.
Firstly, accept fear as nature’s way of helping you. Fear is nature’s way of preparing you for danger, real or fancied. When you face a new or different circumstance, or when many are watching you and you don’t want to mess up, nature does something great to help you, if you recognize the help rather than being disappointed by it. Nature adds the adrenaline in your blood stream. It speeds up your pulse and your responses. It increases your blood pressure to make you more alert. It provides you with the extra energy you need for doing your best. Without the anxiety there would be no extra effort. Identify fear as a friend. Recognize it and use it well. When you are able to recognize it, fear will be permanently out of your way every time you are up for public speaking.
Then, analyze your fear, what is it exactly that you fear? Could it be fear of yourself? Fearing that you perform poorly and not pleasing your self-esteem. Could it be fear of audience? Fearing that they may tease you or laugh at you. Could it be fear of your material? Fearing that you have nothing sensible to say or you are not prepared. Different fears will require different approaches to overcome them. Once you have identified and analyzed your fear, you will find strategies in dealing with each of them.
Use the right techniques and strategies, and soon you will be able to permanently overcome your public speaking fear.
Leo Sanders is a public speaking trainer and he has helped thousands of his students overcome their public speaking fear. For more information on how you can permanently overcome your public speaking fear, please visit http://www.publicspeakingroom.com/.
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/how-to-permanently-overcome-your-public-speaking-fear-1355542.html
on Oct 19 in Uncategorized
Angela DeFinis is an expert in professional public speaking providing programs like Speech Coach San Francisco, Speech Coach Bay Area, Speech Coach Marin, Speech Coach Napa Valley, Speech Coach Silicon Valley and Speech Coach California. As an author, speaker, and CEO/Founder of DeFinis Communications Inc., she has spent over twenty years helping business professionals find solutions to their communication challenges and develop a broader repertoire of potent speaking skills. Her message and approach create positive, personal, and lasting change.
1. Structure Your Message
Use a clear structure with a beginning, middle, and end to keep you and your audience on track. Start with a strong opening, state your purpose, and then move to your three to five main points. Support each main point with touch points: stories, metaphors, rhetorical questions, examples, technical information, statistics, charts, and graphs. State the value point so that your audience clearly understands how your message benefits them. Close with a final thought and a clear call to action. This simple content structure will guarantee your success.
2. Tell Memorable Stories
Storytelling is the pathway to personal connection. Telling the right story at the right time creates a powerful opportunity to engage with your listeners. Create engaging characters and add details and dialogue. Develop a beginning, middle, and end; make sure there’s a twist; and bring it home with a resolution. Stories penetrate deeply into the hearts and minds of others. They will be remembered long after your last word is spoken.
3. Strengthen Physical Presence
Your physical presence is what the audience sees when they look at you. Imagine that they can’t hear a word you are saying. The only information they have is the physical information you are sending with your body language. Use sustained eye contact (three to five seconds per person), active facial expressions (raise your eyebrows and smile!), erect posture, varied gestures, and powerful movement. Stay physically active to keep your audience alive.
4. Develop Distinctive Language
Your words give people access to your message and keep your audience involved. Effective language skills include concise sentences, language that is audience focused, and words that convey power and emotion. Use the word YOU often. It is the most powerful word in the English language. Eliminate distracting words such as “really,” “like,” “basically,” “okay,” and “you know,” and drop those grating non-words such as “umm,” “ah,” “err,” and “uh.” Keep your language clear and free of word pollution. For more info visit: www.definiscommunications.com
DefinisCommunications.com : offering services like as, Presentation Skills Training Bay Area, Presentation Skills Training, Presentation Skills Training Silicon Valley, Executive Speaker Training Bay Area, Executive Speech Coach communication skills training, presentation skill coaching, making effective presentations, skill presentation, business presentation skills
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/create-presentations-that-sizzle-5-tips-to-help-you-bring-your-audience-to-life-1338241.html
on Oct 19 in Uncategorized
Fear of public speaking is one of the most widespread fears that many of us have today.
Some commenter’s have even gone so far as to say that it’s the number one fear that people have in the world.
If you are hampered by this fear and its effecting your life adversely, some of the tips below should help ease things and move things along for you.
1) Get perspective on fear
If we stop to think about it, the fear of looking foolish or stupid in front of a large crowd is one of the greatest fears that many of us carry. When we were younger it was easy for such a fear to be a very powerful influence for us and to control us as we depended to a large degree on the approval of others for our survival, namely our parents. But fast forward to today and most of us are self sufficient and do not need this approval anymore for survival. In fact you don’t need any ones approval and it’s safe to look foolish.
2) Let the fear move
Even after you realise that your fear may be ungrounded it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re done with the issue of fear of public speaking and can get up there and perform. The fear that we have will remain stuck in us as long as we refuse to look at it and experience it. We have to be willing to tolerate the fear that we have inside us for now until it gets a chance to dissipate and move in our bodies so we can be free from it. So for now become the observer of your fear of public speaking and let it be there when it comes up. Doing so will start to lessen its energy and impact on you.
3) Practise makes perfect
Like anything in life, it is necessary for us to learn public speaking by immersion i.e. to actually do it in order to become good at it. As we practise more and more in front of people the fear that we have will gradually start to dissipate as we become more used to speaking in front of people. In essence we will have de-conditioned ourselves off the fear.
If you follow the steps above you will be on your way to overcoming your fear of public speaking. If you would like to discover the underground techniques that professional speakers use to win a crowd over go to http://www.speakwell.cjb.net
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/3-tips-on-how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-public-speaking-1352568.html
on Oct 13 in Uncategorized
The success of your event can be better defined by organising it systematically. Planning the event in advance with an effective speaker can make a huge difference in its effect on the target audience.
For a corporate event, such as a product launch, seminar, workshop or promotional campaign, it is most apt to select a speaker that is specialised in conferences. Conference speakers may prove to be better motivational speakers in the corporate environment. Inviting celebrity speakers, especially if they are sports stars, can prove to be particularly beneficial in the case of promotional events.
The promotional nature of every event presses upon maximising mass appeal in terms of securing people presence and attention. Sports persons in Australia are a favourite across people of all age groups and genders. Booking them to your event can help to ensurte the events success. People are likely to listen to them with more interest.
Sports speakers are not only effective because of their star status, but also because their life is an inspiration in itself. They are individuals who worked hard towards their goals to become a successful sports person. Many of them faced various ordeals during the course of their journey. So, when sports speakers speak, they connect instantly with the audience and inspire their audience with their life-based true accounts.
To find all top sports persons available for public speaking, visit Sports Bureau Promotions at http://www.sportsbureau.com.au. You will find a range of speakers within a budget to suit your event.
An event manager by profession and a writer by choice, Ryan Daley is a well experienced professional. His articles deal with his own experiences in his professional life. Please visit http://www.sportsbureau.com.au
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/motivation-from-sports-speakers-1323801.html
on Oct 13 in Uncategorized
Let me be frank: I have mixed feelings about getting up in public to speak before large groups. This should come as no surprise since the fear of public speaking tops almost everyone’s list—surpassing death itself! As Jerry Seinfeld puts it, “If you were invited to give a eulogy at a funeral, you’d rather be the guy in the casket than the one at the podium!”
But what may come as a surprise is that for almost 30 years I have made a handsome living from coaching others to speak in public—before large groups and small; before juries deliberating complex issues; in Congress; at shareholders meetings; and with clients giving keynote speeches.
My career has surprised me: I never imagined I’d have landed in the Boardrooms of corporate America, nor the courtrooms where major cases were being hashed out, nor in limousines coaching CEO’s en route to a flight, nor in airplanes, posh hotels, and on expense accounts. The work was demanding and exhilarating. The high fees I’ve commanded, the accolades, the prestige, and the perks made my work fun and gratifying. So why, then, would I rather avoid doing the very thing I coach others in?
I am reminded here of a line from Woody Allen’s classic Annie Hall: “Those who can do, do; those who can’t do, teach; and those who can’t teach, teach gym!”
For years, I preferred to help others hone their message, find their passion, and convey their joy (or at least, their information). But now, it has all come home to roost, for I am on a different path, having completed a book on the subject, called, “More Than Words Can Say: The Making of Inspired Speakers.” It is now my turn to do the lecture circuit, market my book, speak before groups, and sell, sell, sell!
For years, I dreaded the thought. I avoided it and even vowed that I’d never write a book. I kept that pledge for well over 20 years, happy to be running seminars, coaching brilliant clients to open their hearts & minds, proud as a mother hen when her children succeeded, and content to remain behind the scenes.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I never went before an audience. I had my fair share of presentations, keynote speeches of my own, and informal talks. But the thought of appearing before a huge audience, one I did not know, and speaking about my book, made me feel like a used-car salesman in a tacky, plaid suit, hawking his wares.
So, I had to coach myself. And my coaching always starts with awareness—self-awareness (the hardest kind to come by). But there I met resistance. Resistance is the dance partner of awareness. They waltz around, sometimes one leading, sometimes the other. And when resistance had stepped on the toes of awareness once too many times, awareness finally waltzed off alone.
Dancing solo is most liberating. No one else pushing you where you don’t wish to go. No one else’s agenda is besting your own. When my own awareness found its voice, I realized that speaking with others holds no fear for me. One-on-one is my medium. Total strangers are constantly confiding in me. New acquaintances appear to be old friends. Old friends share deep parts of themselves that they share with very few others.
Small groups hold no fright either. I have been running seminars for almost 30 years. I have been in classrooms with 6 – 200. My seminars get consistently rave reviews and in some firms have had waiting lists of two years. So, you might ask, what’s your problem? Why do you resist larger audiences? After all, you know what it takes to charm, seduce, embrace, inform, and inspire? You’ve seen clients transform from boring to sparkling all the time. You’ve been there, yourself! What’s up?
Here’s the deal (and I think this applies to most people): Speaking to one or to a small group is real. You see them; they see you. You can tell if they’re listening, if they’re alive, awake, with you, against you, daydreaming, etc. You can read their body language. You can meet their eyes. You are real. You’re talking—not performing.
But when the room gets large, when the lights go down, when you are in a spotlight that says “perform,” the real you gets as shy as a nervous kitten. You loose your self-confidence. You imagine all manner of horrors. You are certain they’ll see through you and not be taken in by your façade. And you’d be right!
As long as the real you is hiding behind a façade, you cannot feel at home at the podium. You must strip: not your clothes, but your mask. You may assume that your mask is protecting you, but in reality, it is obscuring your light. And your light is what must shine for others to be engaged when you speak. You must reveal yourself, share your private thoughts, expose your vulnerabilities, be honest with yourself and, thus, with your audience.
The greatest awareness I gained about myself is that I am not a performer: I am, though, a very good communicator. The difference is where I am shining the spotlight of my mind. When it is directed at me, I am ripe for self-consciousness; when it is directed at another, I am open to real communion. I stop asking “how am I doing,” and move to, “Are you with me.” I stop worrying about, “Will they like me,” and start considering, “What can I offer them.”
I now know from testing the waters with individual readers and with small groups, that the book I’ve written is transformational. It is meant to take your fear of public speaking and turn it into your forte. It is aimed at all speakers—in any setting—for whom authenticity and connection are paramount. Readers tell me it has changed forever the way they look at getting up in public. It has changed the way they speak to their spouses … the way they speak to their children. It has, indeed, changed their relationship with themselves.
I could not be more pleased. And I am glad to say that although I may still feel butterflies at the prospect of standing before a large group, I have taught those butterflies to fly in formation. I also figure that if Pavarotti was always nervous before every performance, I can be too.
The difference now is that I do not see it as a performance; I see my role as a sharer. I am in the spotlight to share my passion, my insights, and my pleasure. And when I share, I am engaged in an interchange . . . I am not there all alone. My listeners are up there with me; they just happen to be a few feet away. And I’ve learned to make friends with the spotlight. The spotlight is there to illuminate me until my own light can shine on its own.
Having worked both as a Consultant and as a Communications Coach for many years now, I have come to appreciate the subtle distinction between the two. A good consultant will often tell you what you need and help you acquire it; a good coach will elicit from you what you desire and help you achieve it. My clients have referred to me as their coach . . . long before coaching became the vogue. And so, I’ve adopted the title, The Keynote Coach.
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/we-always-teach-what-we-need-to-learn-1331020.html
on Oct 12 in Uncategorized
If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s meet new people
I met my boyfriend on public transit! Most of my friends right now are people I picked randomly in a crowd. Often I get asked where I find the balls for such brazen interactions.
It’s really simple
If you want to meet new people, there’s two things you need to get in your head. The first is that your meeting someone new – that means they’ve most likely never seen you before. The second is that they most likely don’t know much about you.
What does this mean? It means that it doesn’t matter what they think of you. Really
Simple as that. You need to re-train your brain. Society would have you assume that it really matters what other people think. You expect that if enough people make the same conclusion, it must be true.
That’s bullshit
Just because everybody seems to think that we’re gonna die in 2010, that doesn’t mean you should start building a bunker. Just because everybody thinks pork rinds are nasty it doesn’t mean I can’t eat them!
Let me tell you a story
I have a friend. She’s a 14 year old Chinese girl. Does her hair up every time she gets out of bed. Sprinkles on just a little bit of make-up. Wears cute-but-slightly-suggestive outfits. Pretends to be just a little less smart then she is. Once I saw her right after she got up. Hair a mess, no make-up, an over-sized shirt and giant P-J pants. She looked just as good. I told her this, and asked her why she did all that stuff. She was smart, friendly, kind. She didn’t need any of it, did she? She said this:
“I do it because I want people to think I’m pretty.”
What? You think you’re pretty, right? I mean who cares what people think:
“Sure, but if people think I’m ugly, if the world thinks I’m ugly, that means it must be true.”
This is media in action people. It doesn’t matter if your a Gothic Anarchist from Texas and blissfully happy with yourself. Everybody catches the bug sometimes.
We’re social creatures, and I get that. I know that once in awhile, it’s important what someone thinks of you. But this mentality can debilitate us, and make us shut ourselves up. You get so rapped up in all this you try to write an e-mail to somebody and you freeze up. It makes you freak out. How are you going to do this? What if they don’t like you?
What if they speak badly of you? What if they think you’re weird?
What happens when people think you’re weird? What happens when you meet people that don’t like you?
YOU END UP SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE THAT DO LIKE YOU!
That’s it everybody! You weed out people you won’t get along with.
When you walk up to some stranger, they better stand up to YOUR standards. They better make YOUR cut. YOU better like them, or THEY miss out on your kick-assery.
Because even assholes kick ass some of the time. Really.
So send that email! Direct message that hot chick! Random-Add that random stranger!
Because news flash people! On the internet it is easier then ever to find people you like, and even easierer to get rid of ones you don’t.
Thats mah WOOOORRRD today y’all.
I plan to do a series of these. Each should help you overcome these problems and get yourself out there without sounding like a big douchebag all day long. Hang ten.
Aislyn Laurent is the publisher of LifeNoodle: Online Business Beginning To End. She like ice cream, obsessing over her business, and making new friends.
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/how-to-meet-people-on-the-internet-or-anywhere-else-ever-part-1-1323972.html
on Oct 12 in Uncategorized
Or How to Meet People on the Internet or Anywhere Else Ever {Part 2}
Last post we talked about some reasons why you might not want to go up to random people on the street. Today I plan to tell you about how to avoid these fears and allow yourself to start conversations.
You need to take a deep breath
Some people are naturally kind of wary when going up to new people. You should work on calming yourself down before you make your move.
The best way to calm your nerves is to think of the worst possible scenario.
Come to terms with the most horrible thing that could happen
Really think about it. What are you scared of?
Is it rejection?
Remind yourself you don’t know this person, and remember that if you fail at becoming part of their network, you’re only left with what you have now. If you’re going to ask this person for a favor you need desperately, try and remind yourself of your other options. Your fate will almost never ride with one stranger.
Going up to a stranger and failing is just the same as never talking to them at all. No more, no less.
Worried about humiliation?
Even if this person laughs in your face, spits on you and makes a huge scene of how you started talking to them from nowhere, think about what that says about them. If they get they’re little group too mock you, leave! You don’t need that kind of person! This is a connection that will not help you. Keep in mind that no matter what you were hoping to get out of this kind of person, you would have had to bend over backwards to get it.
Making a fool of yourself is very difficult if your comfortable in your own skin. How you handle the situation can completely change the outcome.
Once, in my first year of high school, a friend was worried about going on stage by herself
She told me that knowing I was there would help her be strong in her presentation. I told her I would gladly stand there and support her.
The teacher running the event told me that I couldn’t wait on stage, because it was an election and only participants could stay up there. I said no problem, and positioned myself way up on the bleachers across the gym from the stage entrance. I told my friend to give me a shout-out and that I would run down and make a big thing about it, announcing myself as her entourage.
She got called up. She gave me my shout-out. I began to run down the bleachers
When I reached the bottom, I made it about four feet and tripped on a cord. I flew nearly three feet through the air and landed face first on the floor, skidding and ripping my pants. It was worse then a cartoon. Silence. A few giggles. I stood up and watch over a thousands teenagers about to laugh at me.
I yelled “I’m O-K!” And began to laugh hysterically. The world laughed with me
I got on stage and the candidates were ablaze. I yelled into the microphone that I was fine, and that be had some serious business to get to. Giggling through the presentation, everyone laughed when I said I was for hire to be the bodyguard for the person with enough cupcakes.
I got 15 different offers that day. I made nearly 30 new friends
I earned school wide fame {and no, not that everyone was making fun of me. I’ve been made fun of before, and they were truly impressed that I recovered}.
How I do it
I remind myself that if I fail in front of a whole room, running off and hiding only makes me seem less to them. If I run into a wall and laugh at myself, people will diffuse. They immediately realize that making fun of me means nothing. Even if they still do, who cares? Ignore them, focus on those who come to you and ask if your ok. Ask the stunned onlookers what they think of your attempt at going through walls.
Maybe neither of these things bother you, maybe it’s some third thing
Just remember it’s never as bad as you think. These people are still people. They long for companionship and hope to be accepted just like you. They’re here to be part of something, just like you. You have nothing to fear.
Aislyn Laurent is the publisher of LifeNoodle: Online Business Beginning To End. She like ice cream, obsessing over her business, and making new friends.
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/how-to-work-up-the-nerve-to-talk-to-people-part-2-1326690.html
on Oct 08 in Uncategorized
Do you avoid having to speak in public at all costs? I can totally relate to that fear because I experienced the exact same problem for many years.
If there was a way to avoid office meetings where I might be called upon to give my opinion or do a presentation, I absolutely made every excuse just so I did not have to face that moment of panic. Why would anyone want to embarrass themselves in front of an audience by giving a speech and in particular to your peers at work, let alone a large crowd?
I had a bad case of Public Speaking Fear; and unfortunately it consumed me and kept me from moving ahead in so many areas of my life. Fortunately I learned how to control the fears!
I had to find the answer to this problem and I’m sure you want to regain control over these horrible feeling as well. Would you be surprised to learn that it’s not that difficult? Let’s take a look.
If you can learn four key steps – you are well on your way!
Step 1: Knowledge
I’m sure you’ve heard this before but it really is critical to overcoming the fear of public speaking. Why? It’s all about teaching. You need to know your subject better than your audience. They are there to learn something from you. You are the expert and in their eyes you have something they want.
That’s a position of power; but you only gain that position of power by thoroughly knowing your subject.
Step 2: Practice
It’s back to basics – practice, practice, practice. Why? When you thoroughly know your subject and you are completely comfortable with what you are going to say; then, and only then, can you gain the confidence needed to overcome a moment of Anxiety or Panic. When that shaking or trembling starts (and it will), you must know your subject and be so completely rehearsed that it will roll off your lips without having to stop and check notes or trying to remember what you were going to say.
Don’t even think about ‘winging it’ – that’s a recipe for disaster.
Step 3: Relax
How can I possibly relax at a time like this?
So take a few deep breaths before you start. Tell yourself you are in control. Tell the Anxiety that you are not threatened because you have control over and complete knowledge of the subject and these people are lucky that you are here to teach them. Sounds a bit silly but no one knows what’s in your mind – only you. At this point, all that matters is that you know your position of authority and relax.
Step 4: Humour
So what if something goes wrong?
Why do many professional speakers start their talk with a joke? To relax themselves and their audience. So be prepared – have a few “one-liners” or even a joke (make it quick and appropriate for your audience); and you can buy yourself time to recover from any moment of anxiety. Humour is the best medicine even in public speaking.
Just remember these four steps. It is possible to go from that moment of dread to never fearing public speaking again. Step by step – it can be done.
Are you still dreading public speaking? Do you suffer from Anxiety and want to overcome it?
It is completely possible to find Natural Solutions for Anxiety & Panic Attacks
Ann Monahan is a Marketing Writer focusing on Natural Health Solutions.
Visit: http://www.FindPanicAttackSolutions.com for articles including How Simple Diet Changes Can Eliminate Anxiety.
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/do-you-fear-public-speaking-gain-control-and-stop-the-anxiety-with-these-4-easy-steps-1313049.html
on Oct 08 in Uncategorized
Effective public speakers have a strange sense of power in them that draws a crowd like a moth to the flame. People who are witness to their strength can’t help but wonder what gives them such a commanding presence. How can they capture the awe and inspiration of the people? The answer lies in hypnotic persuasion techniques for public speakers.
Of course, these techniques are subtler than you think. Even someone who isn’t used to public speaking can make use of these hypnotic persuasion techniques for public speakers.
Hypnotic Persuasion Technique # 1: Modulate Your Voice.
Public speakers use their voices as their main weapon. They change their tone and their volume depending on what kind of impression they want to leave to their audience.
If the public speaker wants to intimidate the people, he would probably harden his voice and raise the volume a little bit more. On the other hand, if the speaker is looking for sympathy, he would probably soften his voice down to an almost whisper.
This is one of the methods of persuasion for public speakers that deals mostly with emotions.
Hypnotic Persuasion Technique # 2: Use Your Eyes.
Public speakers also have their eyes to help them capture their audience. Some public speakers like to give piercing gazes to different parts of the crowd when talking about a certain issue.
If you want to have power over others, let your eyes do half of the talking for you. Practice your facial expressions in front of the mirror until you get used to the feeling.
Hypnotic Persuasion Technique # 3: Use Other Body Language Signals.
Body language is one of the most powerful hypnotic persuasion techniques for public speakers. Each person has his own style.
Notice that some public speakers rarely move their body; but when they do, it has such a large impact over the audience. Then there are speakers who are very animated and excited that even the crowd can’t help but get riled up.
If you find yourself in a position where you need to appear persuasive, remember what kind of movement effective public speakers make and you’ve won half the battle.
These are just some of the hypnotic persuasion techniques for public speakers. Incorporating them into your own life can bring you a lot of benefits. Not only will they help you persuade more people, they will also help you become more comfortable in your own skin. Soon, expressing yourself and getting other people to agree with you would be a piece of cake.
Want to discover secret persuasion techniques to easily influence people to your way of thinking and put them under your control? Get a FREE course that reveals some of the most groundbreaking mind control techniques and persuasion secrets at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/public-speaking-articles/hypnotic-persuasion-techniques-for-public-speakers3-public-speaking-tips-to-mesmerize-your-audience-1315692.html
on Oct 07 in Uncategorized
Secret #1 – Make Direct Eye Contact While Speaking
Answer this question : Why does an animal trainer keep his eyes upon the eyes of the animals he is training?
A steady, direct look makes speech doubly effective, for it invariably carries the impression of confidence and of power. It is pleasing to a person who speaks to you, because it shows him that you are attentive. The fact that you fix your eyes upon his shows him that you are interested in him and in his subject. Your direct look compliments him, and will make him remember you.
If you speak in public, whether to a large or to a small audience, look your audience in the face. If you allow your attention to fix itself upon notes or manuscript, or if you look at some vague point before you, you lose touch with your listeners.
Look into the eyes of all-not simply of those in the center, but into the eyes of all-at the right, at the left, on the platform with you, and you will establish a magnetic bond that will not easily be broken.
“Whether with one person or with a thousand, look into the eyes of your listeners. Let your personality meet theirs. Let there be a meeting of souls.”
Speak eye to eye, and heart to heart, not occasionally, but always; not alone with your intimate friends, but with all with whom you speak. It will help in making you a master of speech and a leader of men.
Secret #2 – Let Facial Expressions Aid Your Speech
An open countenance that reflects an honest soul pleases everyone. As you talk, whether to one person or to a thousand, let your face light up with the changing emotions of what you say.
Such looks are contagious, and they aid in carrying your thought to your listeners. They draw attention and thus awaken interest.
An old man stands every day on one of the crowded streets of New York and sells a cheap mechanical device. As he demonstrates, he talks. His face is a study. As he explains the little contrivance, his countenance lights up, grows serious, changes-he looks at you kindly, and you feel that he is explaining one of the marvels of the age. Consciously or unconsciously, he is using his expression as part of his demonstration.
The man with the speaking countenance will succeed in life far more easily than will one who hides his personality under a real, or an assumed, mask of stolidity.
Secret #3 – Be a Leader in Speech
The best way to attain leadership in talk is to make everything that you say worthy of being heard.
I know a business man who masters any conversation in which he takes part-but he never appears to be doing so. He speaks directly to the point, with clear common sense. He tells a story that illustrates a point in question. He takes up a remark, and amplifies and illustrates it. He gives a new turn of thought to the conversation. You feel that there is a world of personal power backing him. As a result, he is head of a great business enterprise.
A talkative person is not usually a leader. Leadership lies with the one who gives his judgment opportunity to act before he speaks.
People are quick to discover sound points of view. It is well not to be too ready to enter into talk.
Listen, gather evidence, reflect upon it, and speak with weight rather than with glibness.
Take the lead in introducing topics of discussion.
If you know with whom you are likely to talk, and under what circumstances, prepare yourself by thinking, ahead of time, of topics that are likely to prove of interest.
Read newspapers, periodicals, and books of the day, so that you will be able to speak from a full mind. One who has a fund of information at command will be able to make any discussion interesting.
Take a commanding position in any talk by proposing new lines of thought, or new subdivisions of old lines.
Avoid letting those with whom you speak give most of the suggestions.
Do not allow a conversation to close until you have determined that you wish it to close. When you have presented all the lines of thought that you think advisable, bring the talk to a close yourself, with “the last word.”
If you can do all this without bumptiousness or conceit, and with proper regard for the opinions of others, you will soon find yourself talking easily, and masterfully, with those of whom you may once have stood in awe.
Secret #4 – The Power of Silence
Look around you at people with whom you associate. You see many who chatter idly and frivolously, saying nothing with much seriousness, and often, with thoughtless words, saying something harmful.
It was such a person whom Shakespeare ridiculed when, in “The Merchant of Venice,” he said “Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing, more than any man in all Venice.”
No one admires such a person. Such a person is amusing but not substantial.
On the other hand, you see a few of your associates who are “men of silence.” Like Colonel House, they say little but they think much. Their opinions are worth knowing. When they do speak they are likely to speak wisely. Their power over men comes largely from concentration.
- Do not waste energy in idle, flippant speech.
- Do not form habits of speaking thoughtlessly.
- Make silence lead to good judgment.
- Resolutely practice the art of silence so that you may speak wisely when you do speak.
Secret #5 – The Power of Questions
The hero of Arnold Bennett’s novel, “Denry the Audacious,” attains success in a curious way. Not having advantages of wealth or of education, he found a way to riches and fame through the medium of speech. He always asked the question: “Do you?” Little by little he gained a reputation. for wisdom and ability, without having any very large share of either.
The fantastic story teaches a good lesson. Few people like to assume the burden of statement. It is unwise to contradict what another has said. It is easy to ask questions. The hero of the story did not notice contradiction, nor did he answer questions. He put the full burden upon the ones with whom he talked. His constant questions were :
“Do you think so?”
“What do you think?”
“Is that your opinion?”
Few people can resist it. It has the advantage of being entirely non-committal as far as you are concerned and it draws the full thought of the one with whom you speak.
One of my friends, consciously or unconsciously, employs this method. Again and again I have heard his direct questions: “Do you?”, “Do you think so?”, and they always search out logical weaknesses, and call for thought.
- Never contradict.
- Never argue.
- Give your companion the opportunity to assume the full burden.In almost every case you will win your point.There are times when it would be impolite or offensive if you immediately expressed your opinion.
- Be wholly non-committal, and give full way to the one who speaks. Put him, as it were, in your power.There are times when your associates speak hastily or thoughtlessly. You do not wish to contradict them openly.
- Say quietly: “Do you think so?” and you give opportunity for thought and revision.This method is one of the most successful methods of speech when you wish,
(a) To gain a temporary advantage.
(b) To show the weakness of an argument.
(c) To talk with an angry or quarrelsome person.
Secret #6 – How to Arouse Interest in What You Say
- Establish a bond of interest of some kind in every talk. That bond is found through a clear understanding of the circumstances. There are times when what would add to interest on one occasion would interfere with interest on another.
- Adapt yourself to circumstances. It is a mistake to think that there is any one way of creating interest. There are as many ways of creating interest as there are occasions for speaking.
- Establish a good point of contact and you are certain to create interest. The relationship between mother and child is so close that the mother is keenly interested in anything whatever that the child says or does. The child’s acts and words may be of the most trivial sort, utterly uninteresting to any but the mother. The point of contact, the warm relationship, creates interest. In business talking you should create interest by establishing as close a point of contact as possible.
- Create interest by arousing curiosity. All people have curiosity in a high degree. That is why crowds collect so quickly when anything unusual occurs. A public speaker, by exhibiting objects, or by promising to do or say certain things, arouses curiosity, and therefore arouses interest. Some years ago I heard a street performer speak on a city corner. He said: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a notorious swindler. I have come here to swindle you. If you have any money in your pockets.. go home.. Here is what I did in other places.” And he read newspaper accounts proclaiming him a dangerous swindler. His words interested everyone. The crowd increased: His power of talking maintained interest, and he actually swindled the entire crowd just as he had said he would do. He had aroused interest because he had appealed to curiosity.
- In conversation arouse curiosity. Lead to your point by degrees; make your speech have the effect of climax.
- Do or say that which is unusual, new, or in any way out of the ordinary.
- Avoid the commonplace.
- Use humor freely as a means of creating interest.
- Use exaggeration in a whimsical manner.
- Use distinctive or unusual gesture.
- Give a few specific details.
- Exhibit specimens, samples, pictures, maps, or any object.
Secret #7 – How to Read the Minds of Your Audience
If a person could have such wisdom that he could see fully into the minds of other people he would almost never be at a loss for effective speech.
He would know the situation fully and would therefore be prepared to meet it.
No one can ever hope to have such wisdom, but he can at least approach it.
When a parent talks to a child he very largely understands what is passing in the child’s mind. This gives the parent an advantage that commands the full respect of the child.
In business life approach the ability that a parent has in dealing with a child. Know what is passing in the minds of those with whom you talk.
Gain that knowledge by putting yourself in the position of those with whom you talk.
All people, under exactly similar conditions, act somewhat alike. You may easily assume a situation and the attitude toward the situation.
Do not assume that you are in the other person’s place. Assume that you actually are the other person.
It is said that George M. Cohan writes his plays for an imaginary newsboy named “Bill,” who sits in the “top gallery.” As he writes, he puts himself in “Bill’s” place, and looks at the play. If the imaginary “Bill” doesn’t like the scene, Mr. Cohan rewrites it. “I wonder if Bill will like that,” he says, and by thus putting himself in the audience, makes his plays successes.
We are all of us so naturally gifted with understanding of human nature that we can easily, in mind, act the part of another.
You have something to sell. Your prospective customer is a man very different from yourself in mind and in circumstances. Put yourself in his place.
Imagine that you are he, with all his likes and dislikes.
Think what kind of speech would best induce you to purchase. Then make that kind of speech.
On the contrary, think what kind of speech would be least successful with you. Avoid that kind of speech.
Forget yourself, and try to understand the influences that affect the person to whom you talk–the difficulties, the anxieties.
You will find such understanding will guide your speech to success.
Start using these 7 great secrets today and watch how people respond to you. I hope you enjoy what you have learned here.
Get more great secrets with my course “The Secrets to Mastering Speaking” at http://www.secretstomasteringspeaking.com
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